I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I love you.
Bad choice
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
