I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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