he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
