I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize