This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
