physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
