i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
