Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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