the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
