I can text with my tongue
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
