oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
