i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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