I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
