So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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