How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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