those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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