did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
