"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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