It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
