so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
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