Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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