I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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