I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
