dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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