I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
