is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
