wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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