you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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