Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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