Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
MIDGETS
????
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
