mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
