a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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