Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
