Capitaan dildo arrescate!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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