yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
