I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I could make wine with my vomit
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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