i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
