My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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