My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
