I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
