piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
