I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
