You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
