He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
