there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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