I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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