can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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