Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
