The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
