hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
