you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
