Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize