you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize