Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
