i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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