I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
where are my eyebrows?
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