I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize