Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Someone signed my nipple.
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