At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
